Pacing The Cage

The list continues...

2010-03-20T06:38:00.001-07:00

Note: I didn't have time to proofread this or make it witty, concise or charming.

I've made some progress, but I keep thinking of new things I need to do. I Moved Treely and the pony to one of the smaller paddocks. They don't know it, but I'm using them to stop the grass from growing so I can have a dry lot this summer for their fat asses. That gave me the chance to start picking the big paddock. I don't think I'll actually get it all picked, but I'm trying to get as much as I can for the compost pile before the grass starts to grow, then I'll just mow over the rest.

I had the compost pile on a hillside by the pond, but no matter which way I came at it, the tractor tires slipped and I couldn't get enough traction to get a scoop. So I finally got fed up and decided to push it down the hill. Ha ha. I started at the top of the hill, put the loader down and pushed it down the hill as planned, but then my back tires were still on the slope and I had a huge mound of compost in front of me. The tires spun when in reverse, so I decided my only choice was to attempt to drive over the pile. Ha ha. This led to 45 minutes of digging the tractor out of the compost pile. I was a little discouraged, as this was my first day of working towards my checklist goals and I ended up wasting it for a stupid reason. I was absolutely not going to call my farmer neighbor, who while always willing to help, has such a condescending attitude toward this young city girl that it was totally worth the hour of back breaking work of shoveling soggy, rotting shit to avoid a minute of his smug expression.

I am happy to say that I am back on track now, even as the list still grows. I ordered my fly predators and should receive my first shipment at the end of the month. My wildflower seeds came in the mail. My veggie garden has a fresh layer of dark compost on it it and I've cleared all the leaves and weeds out of my flower beds. To add to the list:

1. My hydrangeas are coming back! I'm relieved that they made it through the winter. These are the everblooming variety and I had gotten some confusing advice on how to overwinter them...so I just did nothing. I didn't cut them back or pile leaves around them or cradle them with pillowy clouds of satin...ok, no one actually recommended that, but they might as well have for all the weird suggestions I got. The cats even used the soil around them as a litter box and didn't kill them, so I'm giving the everbloomers two thumbs up for hardiness. But, by the end of last summer the blooms were pink and I want purple or blue, so I'm going to have to buy some of that stuff that I can't remember the name of for the soil to make them turn blue and I keep forgetting to look for it because I can never remember what it is I'm supposed to get. I'm too lazy to fix that run-on sentence.

2. I really really really want to fence in the pond so I can get the geese down there. The one goose is able to sort of hop/fly over their little fenced in area and she is reeking havoc on everything and everyone. Poor maddie had to fight her off the other day, she kept attacking her. A few weeks ago, she was in love with maddie and now she wants to kill her. haha. Those geese wouldn't last one night on the pond without protection, though. All it would take is one dog, coyote or fox and they'd be a pile of feathers in the breeze. I've been looking at the electric poultry fence. It's easy to put up, is solar powered and will keep out predators. It's really expensive, though, but maybe if they have babies I can pay for it with money from the goslings.

3. The riding lawnmower needs a new battery (also needs new tires, but I already bought new tires last year and they lasted about a week out here before getting a leak, so I just add air when needed.)

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure there's more. This weekend is my grandma's 80th birthday, so the whole family is getting together Saturday and Sunday, so no work this weekend. Things are really picking up at my day job, too. I'll be glad when the days get longer. Winter is all about killing time, but in the summer, there's never enough.

Getting Ready for Spring

2010-03-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in forever. Summer kept me busy outside and I just couldn't get back into it this winter. I was having my morning coffee, reading Mother Earth News and mentally racking up a to-do list when it hit me: I've got to write all this down! I started to open a word file, then thought, What the hell. Might as well put it on the blog and see if I get any suggestions. So here we go...

1. Order fly predators! My house is in the middle of three paddocks and every time I open a door, a handful of flies dart in. Then I turn into a mad woman hunting them down and making threats while waving around a dish towel. It scares my dogs, who run and hide. I've heard wonderful things about the predators, so this is the year I'm going to try them.

3. re-seed the chicken pen. If I do this, I'll need to move the chickens to what is now the goat pen for the summer. Then I'll have to move the goats to the back paddock (the horses' winter paddock). The pygmies can get through the wood slats in the fence, which means I'm going to have to plunk down some money and time and (sigh) effort on putting electric wire between the spaces. Or I could just get rid of the piggies and...

2. Get a dairy goat. I still want to find a real dairy goat and maybe I'll get around to it this year. I gave up on the pygmies. Baby Bonnie, who is now full grown, still shoves her (horned) head under Bella to nurse. There's also the issue of quantity. I drink a LOT of milk...like two plus gallons a week. I'm also kind of lazy and I don't like mornings. It would be nice to have a dairy goat with a high enough production that I could milk once a day and still have enough.

3. I ordered Heirloom seeds this year. I hate starting seeds indoors. I just don't have the space, so I just got seeds that are direct sow this year, then maybe next year I'll develop a system for indoor sowing. I got corn, green beans, carrots, peas and some greens for the doggies.

4. I'm going to contact the local organic farm in my area. They have a CSA and I want to see if they'll let me take their greens/veggies that aren't fit for human consumption to feed my dogs. I make my own dog food by grinding veggies and raw chicken/bones. I would love to feed them organic, but it's just too damn expensive. Slimy, gross veggies are even better for dogs because they have already begun to break down, mimicking the stomach contents of foraging prey.

5. I'm so excited. I ordered bulk seeds from Americanmeadows.com . I'm going to attempt the cottage garden of my dreams. Last summer I kept the ducks and geese in the back yard along the fence. They made a royal mess of the area making mud puddles and pooping everywhere. So this year I'm going to till it up and plant lupine, delphinium, foxglove, snapdragons, gladiolas, lobelia, hollyhocks and a few other wildflowers. The seed company specializes in species that naturalize and grow abundantly in meadows. So, if all goes well, I'll have a no fuss, bed of beautiful surprises. Some of the flowers, like foxgloves and hollyhocks, won't bloom until the next year, but even the annuals are apt to self-sow. It will be an experiment, but I hope it turns out well. It is certainly cheaper than buying individual plants. There's no way I could afford to do a mass planting of that scale, by buying individual plants.

7. Compost. This fall/winter has been too soggy to get the tractor out to turn the compost pile. The tires would leave muddy ditches in its' wake and it's just not worth tearing up the yard for that, so the manure has accumulated in the paddocks and I'm itching to get out there and start shoveling. Treely is a dear and likes to keep hers in neat piles...something I truly appreciate. Having the front loader on the tractor is going to make the process so much simpler. That and having the extra gate me and my dad installed on the side of the paddock near the compost pile should really streamline the process. I'm hoping for a large, hot pile of shit this year.

6. Firewood. After the ice storm last winter, I had plenty of branches to cut up for firewood. I had a pretty big stack against the garage...or so I thought. Turns out, it was only about a tenth of what I would need to run the wood stove, even for a few hours a day. If I was going to run the stove 12 hours a day, I would probably need 20 times that much. Holy shit, is all I have to say. Add to that fact that because I stacked the wood against the garage, it didn't have enough ventilation and a lot of the wood ended up rotting. Lesson learned. My romantic looking stack of wood piled neatly next to the garage was just that: nice to look at, not so useful. I ended up buying most of my firewood for about $180 a truckload. Not so romantic.

I now see that I would have to be cutting firewood every spare second of every day all year in order to have enough for the winter. Luckily, I don't use the wood stove to heat the entire house...just the poorly insulated back room. So, I'll probably focus my efforts on ripping out the cheap paneling and installing proper insulation and dry wall in that room.

So what have I done all winter? Obsess. Worry. Freeze. I had this weird smell in the house. I thought it was because I put mouse bait in the walls and I was smelling their dead carcasses (lovely, I know). The same thing happened last fall and it went away on it's own in a couple months. So I waited and waited for the damn things to decompose. I noticed the smell was worse when the furnace was going, so I decided that they must have died in the ducts (adorable!). I kept saying, "It smells like propane!" and the sole man in my life (my dad) said, "Not likely. Just wait it out. It will take a while for the mice to decompose."

Even with the gas turned off at the tank, the smell remained. That and the fact that I had candles lit, the wood stove going (since I couldn't stand to run the heater), and had used the burners/oven without exploding seemed to eliminate the gas leak theory. I toyed with the idea that it was a sewage smell...possibly a blocked septic vent. Well, My dad came over last week and said, "It smells like propane." So I called the gas company and lo and behold, the regulator in the gas range was out and was leaking gas...for months. on. end. I guess the furnace helped circulate the smell, making it impossible to pinpoint. I googled "long term health effects of propane exposure" and it seems I'm in the clear. I got a new stove out of the deal. Actually, the stove was the last of my appliances that worked properly, but since a gas leak is pretty serious I figured replacing it was more important than replacing the leaky fridge, the leaky washing machine or the dryer with the broken timer.

Weeding is Fun!

2009-05-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

I finally took out those hideous bushes along the back of the house. I've been itching to do this since I moved here. I dug one out by hand, but there were five and that would have taken all day...not to mention it was hard WORK! So I brought in the special forces.

I just looped the strap around the base of the bush, then hooked it to the tractor and backed up slowly. They came right out of the ground as if they were nothing more than spindly weeds.

I'm loving the tractor.

I'm going to replace the bushes with Hydrangeas. It's the perfect spot. See? Afternoon shade...just barely, haha. I just have to paint the house first. Oh boy, the fun never ends.

Treely Update

2009-05-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

I went to see Treely at the trainer's today. I am such a proud mom. She is doing awesome. I almost didn't recognize her. When I pulled up, one of the trainers was just riding out of the barn on her. She's shed out since I saw her last and has a lot more dapples. Also, I hadn't met the trainer who was on her, so I kind of had that thought in the back of my head: What if that's totally not my horse and I walk up going, "TREEELY!!" She looked so mature and was moving into the bit and looking hAwT (OMFG, I like totally turn into a teenie bopper talking about my mare)!

They already have her driving (pulling a cart) and have now moved on to riding her. She's doing SIDE PASSES(!!) beautifully and is really softening up. The biggest thing they say she needs to work on is her confidence. She's been a bit of a weenie when it comes to new stuff like the mud pit and water and big scary farm equipment. She's having to learn that it's not okay to just move away from everything that looks scary. I didn't get many pictures of her being ridden because they were in the indoor and it was just too dark. I didn't want to be the ignorant owner flashing away on my camera and spooking the horses, haha. I really wish I had some pics of her side passing though. I just LOVE my mare!!

I only got a couple pictures of her driving before the trainer said, "Hop on." I've never been on a training cart before, but I have watched a lot of wrecks on youtube, haha. It was a first for me and, umm...a little scary. BUT I got to stare at my gorgeous girl's big beautiful butt, and that always makes me happy. I was holding on to the "oh shit" handles too tight to take any pictures. Trust me, though, the view was wonderful. The trainer drove her down through the hay fields which had just been cut. There were big hills to go up and down and sharp curves to fly around - at least I felt like we were flying. Treely was so awesome. It kind of makes me want to do combined driving. Who knows, maybe it will be my new thing...if I can ever afford a cart and harness.

They have to piece together her harness with whatever is big enough for her...which is why none of it matches. Here she is with the first piece waiting for the rest of it. Her head looks especially big in this picture, but look how dark she is! I appreciate it now because in a few months she's going to look like a red roan.

Ground driving.

The obligatory butt pic. I must say that harness really enhances her assets.

Almost ready to hook to the cart.

She's coming to a screeching halt in this picture. It's funny because you can see the mechanics of that butt in action. If I could draw, I would make a cartoon where Treely is a superhero who uses her super butt powers to hold up falling buildings and stop trains etc. I don't know if that's funny to anyone but me.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

My mom collects big gaudy tea cups, so when I saw this planter I had to get it. She also loves bright colors. I put together some flowers to match, so hopefully she'll like it.

I especially love how the blue in the daisies matches the blue polka dots on the cup. It even has little orange specks in it.

May Flowers

2009-05-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

I have some assorted flower pictures from the few moments this week when there was light coming from behind the thick paste of clouds.

The first of the year's peonies trying to bloom. I just love the delicate blushing petals and they smell wonderful when they're all in bloom.

Watching the sun set.

I bought this perennial at Lowe's. I can't remember what it's called, but I think it is so unusual and interesting.

Some wildflowers I brought back from a walk...and what's that? Could it be? Sunshine!

This week has been nothing but rain and clouds. I was actually kind of relieved because I put in some creeping phlox and some other flowers, plus a whole lot of wildflower seeds. The daily showers got me out of watering duty and hopefully the plants will be established from all the good watering, so I won't have to drag the hose around.

April Showers Bring May Flies and other things, as well you know

2009-05-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well those giant mosquito looking things otherwise known as May Flies are everywhere which means only one thing: Fowl Feast! The chickens and goslings (and cats) have been chasing the little buggers down all over the yard. I never knew what they were until last year when I was hand raising baby chimney swifts that got dumped at the clinic. With all the May flies swarming about, all I had to do was go out with a mason jar and harvest bugs a couple times a day. They are easy to catch (and harmless, thank god) and it's kind of addicting once you start hunting and catching them. I can completely relate to the obsession that has overtaken the fowl on the farm. The goslings weren't even interested in following me to the pond. They kept getting distracted because they just had to chase down a fly.

Today was not a good day for pictures, but look at the fly about to get crunched! RIP little fly.

The cats were very active today. I guess they only disappear during hot days. Today they ventured into the front yard.

One Cat.

Two Cat.

"How the hell did they do that?"

I think I've become a cat person

2009-04-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

In addition to this cuteness, the brown eyed kitty likes to jump in my lap and knead me and suckle my shirt like he's nursing. He makes cute little suckling noises and everything.

This morning when I went out to feed the cats, I saw a big orange blur of a cat dart out from the shed and dive under the fence and disappear into the woods before I could even say, "Kitty?" I couldn't figure out what could have frightened him so much...but then, as I stared at his brother, I felt something rub against my leg. Both my kitties were present after all! I guess they had a mysterious visitor who joined them for their nightly debauchery. It's so odd, how the whole time I've lived here I've never seen a stray cat and then once I get cats, one shows up all of a sudden. How do they know? Maybe the big orange cat has been making nightly visits all along. I'm going to be thinking of him every time I hear the coyotes howling.

Hummer Time!

2009-04-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Today was wonderful! I rolled out of bed at about 9am, woken with sweet Yombi kisses. I made my coffee and sat on the back patio in the warm sunshine while the cats stretched out at my feet and my little goslings chirped to me. The bumble bees were buzzing around my head. One in particular was very loud and when I turned to see it, I saw not a bumble bee, but a humming bird! The small male must have come to tell me that he's back from Mexico and hungry. I immediately (well, okay, I finished my coffee first) went in and put on a pot of sugar water. By this evening there were already 3 or 4 at the feeders. Last year, at their peak, there were at least 30-40 hummers swarming my feeders at a time. I was going through 8 cups of sugar water a day.

After that I took the goslings down to the pond for their swimming lesson (like I need to teach them anything). As soon as we come down the hill and they see the water, they start running and jump right in. It's so cute. Yombi likes swimming lessons, too. Maddie prefers to life guard from the banks.

Mother Goose

Ben and Jerry

2009-04-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

So, I've neglected to write about my two new kitties for a week now; but only because I didn't have any good pictures of them because it was always raining. The vet clinic I work for pawned off two cats on me that they've had up for adoption for a couple months. The brothers were stray kittens near my friends' apartment and she managed to coax them close enough to grab. The vet clinic neutered them and gave them shots and then they sat in a cat cage in the lobby for two months. Eventually they said, "You need barn cats, don't you?" I said, "Do I?" I'm really not much of a cat person, but I decided to take them home and just see.

Well, after being locked up in a cage, these kitties are soooo affectionate. They love any attention even if it's attention from dogs, goats, goslings...haha. I think they are going to fit in just fine. I had them closed up in the shed for the first few days, but now they pretty much have free run of the shed/back yard area. They sleep in the shed most of the day, but last night they were bouncing all over the back yard catching anything that moved. This morning I went out with my coffee and camera and got some pictures at last.

Gos-zilla

Rainbow

2009-04-20T18:37:00.001-07:00

It was a double rainbow, but by the time I got my camera it was almost gone.

Puddle Jumping

2009-04-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

You know how when you were a kid, toys that could go in the water always outranked the ones that didn't? I was reminded of that today...

Testing the waters

The bottom one dove through the water and the one above it tried to do the same but it was too shallow, so he just ended up launching himself through the air.

it looks like he has little t rex arms.

Finally a puddle deep enough to swim in.

Sebastopol Goslings

2009-04-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

I drove a total of 9 hours yesterday to pick up the two gray Sebastopol goslings I've had reserved since November. I really didn't feel like going and I couldn't even remember why I wanted them so much in Nov when I sent in my deposit, but I was going to E-town to sell some chickens, so I figured since I was heading west, I might as well go on to TN...And I'm so glad I did!

These little babies are sooo sweet. They are not at all like chicks, who run screaming every time they see me. The goslings follow me around and jump in my lap and snuggle up for a nap. I LOVE them! I was hoping the weather would be nice again today so I could take them outside to swim, but it's raining. I only got a few pictures last night because it was getting dark, but here they are.

Preening my "feathers" for me.

Weird

2009-04-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Feedjit tells me that someone from LA got to my site by googling, "Horizons milk puppy mill". I'm thinking wtf why would someone search for that. Well it turns out several of the organic dairy farmers for Horizons milk (milk company who boasts about the humane treatment of their cows) are also running puppy mills. Horizons suspended at least one farmer until he stopped breeding puppies (he had several hundred dogs on site), so I'm not saying boycott Horizons, but it's just funny that two things that I mentioned on my blog that don't seem like they could ever possibly have anything to do with eachother led someone here because it's the exact thing they were searching for. haha. It's a vast and small world.

I think you can pretty much google anything and still get results.

Banana chimney
peanut chair
cradle sausage apparently one of Newton's theories

Creamy, Delicious and Nutritious

2009-04-14T16:10:00.000-07:00

Finally! After two weeks (seems like months) of hand cramping - I mean milking - I finally got to taste fresh goats milk (I hadto wait due to due to antibiotic withdrawal). It is very creamy and sweet. Not at all "goaty". YUM! I'm getting a reliable 2 1/2 cups per milking (twice a day) from Bella...which isn't bad for a first freshened pygmy goat. I'm definitely going to have to start looking at cheese recipes. And yogurt. And Kefir. And ICE CREAM!

Also, I have this amazingly fragrant flowering bush right under my bedroom window. I fell in love with it last year, but could never figure out what it was. After doing several google searches, I finally found success by searching: "Pink flower clusters shrub". It is Viburnum carlesii "Aurora". I can smell these things from the back yard. I cut a few to have in the house and as soon as I walk in the room, the sweet smell hits me. It almost smells like bubble gum, it's so sweet. I wish they would bloom all summer. The bush itself isn't that attractive, but it's well worth it for the week or so that the blooms are around.

If only pictures came with scent...I would love to share it as well.

Bella's Easter Bonnie Surprise

2009-04-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Bonnie is here!! She is so much more beautiful than even her pictures showed. Bella immediately took to her and she has been tongue flapping and licking Bonnie just like she's her own baby. It's very sweet. Bella still follows me around and gives me lots of kisses too. Bonnie's a bit shy around humans, but since Bella shadows me everywhere I go, little Bonnie follows right along. I was laying in the grass taking pictures and she hopped on my back! haha.

Bella is so happy with her goat baby. Now she doesn't have to "play" mommy with me. She has a real kid to look after. She is taking her job very seriously and none of the dogs get within 3 feet of me or Bonnie without getting head butted.

She won't let Bonnie nurse, which is good since I NEED that milk, haha...and Bonnie needs to stay weaned.

First she sees the feet...

...Then the head. "Oh, nooo!"

In other news, Treely's new trainer just came and got her today. She'll be going for 30-60 days of training about an hour away. So, I might not have any Tree mare posts for a while. Hopefully I can go up and take pictures of her pulling a cart (since she won't be doing any of that at my place, I need to at least have proof that she can, haha). She was such a good girl getting on the trailer. She's never been in a step up trailer, so she stopped and sniffed for a while then just decided to pick up her big ol' feet and step up. Good girl! Believe me, that's a definite improvement from the original loading method where at least two people get behind her and PUSH! Needless to say, she's come a long way.

Treely gets purty

2009-04-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!! A nice day that's not too cold for a bath. I've been dying to give my horse, Treely, a bath. It's either been Sunny and freezing or warm and rainy. It took me about an hour to get all the mud scrubbed off of her. She's shedding out globs of hair. Yes, globs.

Then I made her run around until she was dry while I took pictures...[insert evil laugh here]

I'm so mad I cut part of her out of this picture. I had the lunge whip in one hand and camera in the other and I needed two hands to take the picture.

Her expression always makes me giggle. She looks like a cartoon horse.

I've got a trainer lined up for this spring, so Tree mare is going to learn to drive and get some more time under saddle on trails and side passing and all that fun stuff. I just love my mare!

I'm so easy...

2009-04-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

...No. Not like that. I got a note at work saying that I have a special delivery coming easter weekend and it made my whole day/week/month. LOOK!!!

She's a little Pygmy doeling. Her name is Bonnie - which goes oh so well with Bella (stuff like that is important when picking out goats). I love her mischievous eyebrow markings. My friend has been helping me search for a buddy for Bella. She found Bonnie for me today. Bonnie will be weaned next week and is going to a new home with, guess what? FRESH MILK!! haha This little one may just be nursing for the next 6 months.

I have been milking Bella. I haven't been able to drink it, though because she was on antibiotics. Hopefully in two weeks if the new doeling doesn't drink it all, I can have my first taste of fresh goats milk. I hope I like it. I'm a milk fanatic(I pay $4/half gallon for Horizons organic whole milk...it tastes better than ice cream), so I think I will.

Bella has been super cuddly since I started milking her. I guess she has all those mommy hormones going and I'm the closest thing to a baby. She licks and nuzzles my forehead when I'm milking her. This coming from a goat who just last week was completely intolerant of having her udder touched. The whole time she was pregnant I thought I was supposed to sort of condition her to having her udder messed with. I would give her grain and then we would wrestle for about two minutes. Then if I actually got my hands on her udder, she would just lay down. haha

Then, all of a sudden, babies come out and her udder fills up and she just about melted into the ground the first time I milked her. She was so relieved.

I understand why people have such close relationships with their milk cow/goats. Bella has really bonded to me this week. So, I hope she's nice to Bonnie. I think she will be glad to have another goat to keep her company when I'm not around. She's very vocal about how lonely she is.

I'm Stunned

2009-03-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

I found a link to the article about the puppy mill Maddie came from 5 years ago(see "Maddie's Story"). There's actually a picture of her in the cage she was kept in! I did NOT expect to see her when I clicked on the pictures. You can see her distinctive wishbone on her neck. Me and my mom always say those are her wings and she's really an angel.

I've never seen pictures from the puppy mill and I never saw her puppies - who died soon after being rescued. I always wondered what it was like for her and where they had kept her. No wonder Maddie hates those kennels. No wonder she's so excited about every meal she eats. I Just think about how panicked she used to get when I had to leave her in a kennel. There was a time when she could escape from one of those kennels in 30 seconds flat. She had spent so many hours staring at those stupid black wires that separated her from food and water and freedom. My poor girl. I think about how close she came to death and how different my life would be without her.

I've never seen a dog who appreciates laying in the sunshine so much. She rolls on her back and stretches and yawns. I think of how she longed for sunshine on those cold winter days. (the puppy mill was busted in January and animals were kept in a barn). She didn't even have any hair left to insulate her...or body fat.

I think about how good she is with the chicks and little animals around the farm. I'm sure she was a great mommy to those puppies.

I just fed her extra big portions tonight for dinner. And for a happy picture to follow up a horrible one. Maddie and Yombi the other day snuggling with my big tree in the front yard.

Maddie and Yombi sitting in a tree...

A Sad Day

2009-03-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Bella, the pygmy goat, had a c-section today and lost the babies. I noticed when I got home from work yesterday that she had a vaginal prolapse. She did not go into labor or act uncomfortable, so my vet said to wait and see if she was going to have the babies overnight. She did not go into labor overnight (she was happily munching hay right up until I threw her in the car today) so I brought her in this Afternoon. The vet palpated her and said she was fully dilated, but she couldn't feel the babies and they needed to come out, so Bella got anesthetized and cut open. She had twins that were sharing the same uterine horn (normally there would be one on each side) so neither one of them could pass.
Bella would never have been able to give birth that way since they were blocking each other. Bella was either bred the week before I got her, by accidentally getting into her dad's pen. Or she was bred the week after I got her, when she got loose and spent a few days crossing the countryside. When I finally found her, she reeked of buck musk and there are several big herds of goats around my farm. The vet said it was possible that she could have been bred by a 150 lb. Boar goat and in that case, she would never have been able to carry the babies to term.

The twins looked to be almost full term, but after 30 minutes of stimulating them their little hearts gave out almost at the same time. Dr. thinks their lungs weren't developed enough for them to breathe on their own. They were beautiful little babies; one boy and one girl.

Bella was stitched up and she is recovering here at home. She's feeling pretty rough after all she's been through, but she should be fine. My friend, Kelli came over and we buried the babies under a nice shade tree on the hill. Since Bella's a first timer, she probably won't realize she's lost babies, so I don't think she'll grieve. I'm sure she's just wondering what kind of magic mushrooms she ate to cause such a bad trip.

I'm sorry the babies didn't make it. It would have been easier if they had been DOA, but after rubbing them and feeling their hearts beating and holding their perfect little bodies, it sure is hard to lose them like that. I'll probably camp out in the barn tonight just to make sure Bella doesn't have any complications. She's been sleeping a lot and really thirsty. I picked all her favorite weeds to try and get her to eat, but she only nibbles a bit here and there. I'm hoping that was enough to get her rumen going after surgery.

I Keep saying I need a truck, but the Corolla hasn't let me down, yet.

Bella at home. Her whole right side is shaved and that line is her stitches.

Peroxide: Man's Best Friend's Best Friend

2009-03-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

When I came home from work yesterday, Maddie and Yombi greeted me at the front door. I was surprised since I had shut them in the bedroom when I left...Well, not that surprised since Maddie has asserted her knowledge of door mechanics a few times before. Not only had she let herself and Yombi out of the bedroom, but she managed to open the back door that leads to the mudd room where I put the garbage until I can take it to a dumpster (garbage pickup out here is $30/Month and I can't even fill one herbie in a month.)

In the garbage was discarded blackberry cobbler and a rich dark chocolate torte that I ate maybe 1/3 of before deciding it was too old to snack on any longer. Both of these items were not to be found among the mess of trash strewn about the small doorway. Upon second glance, Maddie did look strangely bloated (as in "full"; not as in "gastric torsion").

I looked up recipes online for tortes and most of the flourless wonders contained anywhere from 9 to 16 oz (1 pound!!) of baker's chocolate. This was not a good situation for Maddie, although she seemed quite pleased with herself.

So I went to my little animal pharmacloset in the bathroom and pulled out a 10 cc syringe and Peroxide. I went outside, bottle in hand and called Maddie in my sweetest "You wanna treat?" voice. The dosage for dogs is about 5cc per 10lbs, but I've found that even half of that does the trick. So, I put 15cc down the hatch and waited. 7.4 minutes later: out came Chocolate torte, Blackberry Cobbler and half of the bag of treats from the top of the kennel that I should have used to restrain Maddie while I was gone. I've never been so happy to see vomit before. From what I could see, the entire chocolate torte was undigested on the ground before me.

I gave Maddie another 10cc's just to be sure we got everything out, then instead of dinner, she got a tablespoon of yogurt with a tablespoon of baking soda and some digestive enzymes to ward of gas and bloat (as in "gastric torsion"). She was a little queasy for the rest of the night. I suspect that was the result of the chocolate. Usually with peroxide they throwup and have a look of "What the $%!@ just happened?" for about 10 minutes, then go back to being their normal selves. So I think she must have digested just enough of the chocolate for it to make her queasy and thirsty, but she didn't have an elevated heartrate, wasn't restless and didn't have muscle spasms...and believe me, I was looking out for anything unusual.

Maddie slept through the night and is feeling much better and was very hungry this morning. I should add that my vet is only a phone call away and would meet me in the middle of the night in an emergency (and has before).

Every dog owner (I believe it works for cats, too, but don't quote me on this) should have 3% Peroxide for times like these. I can think of at least a few times a year that I use it, especially when they eat too much of something. With a boxer, bloat is always a concern, so I would rather empty their stomach of the food than wait to see if it causes problems later. They will throw up their entire stomach contents with this route. There are a few other tricks for getting dogs to vomit, but none of them are guaranteed to empty the stomach like Peroxide. This will only work within the first few hours after ingestion. After that, the food moves to the small intestine where toxins will be absorbed. I think the fact that Maddie ate all those treats off the kennel first kept the chocolate from going right through.

In other news, I finished laying laminate in the back room and am getting ready to start on the center hall. More on that later. I have pictures, but probably won't get around to posting them until I get my desk back in here...since I use the printer to plug my CF card into. So it's back to work for me.

Wyandottes!

2009-03-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

I drove to E-town today and picked up some Blue laced red Wyandotte eggs and a few Silver laced Wyandotte eggs. My Black Copper Marans hatched this week (8 out of 14). I'm a little disappointed with that hatch, only because I feel like I must have done something wrong. I picked the eggs up myself, so I can't blame the PO. Oh well, 8 is a good start. I just need to get some more Faverolle eggs and hopefully get a few hens out of the hatch and I'll have a good start to my breeding flocks.

I'm still having a terrible time getting rid of the 25 roosters from the first hatch. Things are getting backed up because I have no where to put the 50 5-week old pullets until the roos are gone. The pullets have taken over the storage shed and I finally just turned them loose in the backyard and lock them in the shed at night. The Rolle Patrol have front porch duty and are STILL sleeping in the house at night. I've been trying to find an idiot proof design for a small coop for them. Any ideas?

2009-03-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

FUZZY BUTT ADDICTION
12 STEP PROGRAM:

Step 1: Admit you have a problem.
Step 2: Admit you have a problem to the enablers on your favorite message board. They will nullify the "dark side" of the problem, and introduce you to a new breed of chick you don't have ... yet...
Step 3: Purchase new chick that you learned of in step 2.
Step 4: Deal with coop crowding situations after the fact.
Step 5: Admit (again) you have a problem...
Step 6: Build coop even larger than necessary so you have excuse to buy more
Step 7: Buy more
Step 8: Buy the incubator because you can't order chicks in some of the more rare varieties you are dying to have. Write off cost of incubator as health care expense on taxes because you were 'dying' to have it, so it must have saved your life by purchasing it. Definitely a health care expense.
Step 9: Clear out closet in spare room, put little muzzles over chick beaks and tell 'significant other' that the noise coming form closet is just mice and you have that under control. If they persist use the old lie that women use for new clothing-"Oh, that old thing? Had that for years, your just not very observant.
Step 10: Add on to Coop!! Assure hubby it is the only addition. (Till the all the eggs you just bought come in and hatch!!)
Step 11: Move just so your chickens have enough space to free range, no other reason....
Step 12: GIVE UP FIGHTING! You're an addict, get used to it!!!

Only for me, step 8 came right after step 2. I didn't have anyone to tell me no. What can I say?

New Floors

2009-03-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

I've decided that before the new Wood Stove is installed, now would be a good time to tear up the carpet (which I loathe) and put down nice laminate wood floors. After much contemplation and bringing home lots of samples from Lowe's, I picked this one. Wide planks and an aged finish. The seems won't be that obvious once it's installed. I'm pleasantly surprised by how realistic the laminate looks. Each plank in the box is unique with variations in color and grain. I was skeptical that it could look as good as wood, but I think it will. Yay!

Since I'll be tearing up the carpet to install the floors, I decided I should go ahead and paint the walls because it's a known fact that it's impossible for me to paint without getting it on the floor. I use the drop cloths and am always careful, but nevertheless paint ends up smudged on the floors and I end up on my hands an knees trying to pick little dried drops off without damaging the finish.

I ripped up the carpet today and while the back room looks good and level the hallway was a wreck.

Ahhh!!!! What is this??!!!

I love my old house. I love my old house. I love my old house.

I should know better by now than to think anything could be an easy weekend project.

Golden Roosters

2009-02-24T13:10:00.000-08:00

These roosters are mutts from my Barred Rock roo and New Hampshire Red Hen. At first they just looked like Barred Rocks, but they've grown really pretty golden feathers on their necks and some throughout their body. The hens were really ugly and I sold them.

Maddie's story

2009-02-22T07:40:00.000-08:00

Since I'm using this as a kind of online scrapbook, I figured I'd share my Maddie story. She is my soul mate, my best friend, my everything and I am completely in love with her. She is also my dog.

Five years ago, at 21, after going through a traumatic breakup, I moved back in with my parents to try and sort out what was left of my life. I hadn't done much that was positive in the previous year. I dropped out of college, did a lot of drugs and lost myself in a first love that was going nowhere. I was completely empty inside and felt like a horrible person. I needed to do something that was positive and uplifting. I needed to do something good.

As an animal lover and someone who had no faith in people, I knew I wanted to do something animal related. I remembered stumbling on Boxer rescue a few years before and decided to see if they needed volunteers. It turns out that just that week, there had been a puppy mill bust in Northern Kentucky where over 100 dogs were discovered living in filthy, cramped cages. Some were kept in an old van where they had no water or food. The ground was littered with collars and rabies tags, from dogs who were stolen out of their backyards. Dead dogs were also found on the premises. I was told that foster homes were needed, as there was no where for the dogs to stay. I immediately sent in my application and waited impatiently to hear back.

Meanwhile, I went on the website to see what dogs were available. That's when I saw her. Hers was the first photo that came up. She was, in my eyes, beautiful. Her sad eyes seemed to mirror what I felt inside. She was empty, too. I must have spent hours looking at her pictures, dreaming of how I would take care of her and make her better. I felt that by filling her with love, I would also be filling my own heart.

The day finally came when I was to meet the women who ran the rescue. They were at Petsmart with some of the adoptable dogs and I introduced myself and asked who was available to be fostered (I was disappointed to see that my girl wasn't there, but I could understand why they wouldn't bring her out in public). I was answered with, "Well, who do you want?" I immediately asked if "Madge" was available. The woman smiled at me and said, "You're not a crazy car thief, are you?" I shrugged and smiled, "Ummm...no?" She reached out her hand and gave me her car keys, told me what her vehicle looked like and where it was parked and said Madge was out there. I was so thrilled. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to meet her. I had spent so many hours daydreaming that it seemed like she couldn't possibly be real.

I found the car and there she was sitting in the passenger seat. She managed a slow wag of her tail when I opened the door. I took her leash and let her out of the car. She, a dog of approximately 1 1/2 years old, moved like an enfeebled old lady who had only enough life left to keep her heart beating and air moving in and out of her lungs. Her eyes reflected pain and confusion and a deep sadness that could only come from heartbreak and trauma. Her puppies had been taken from her, since she had no milk to nourish them with (they were too sick and eventually all died). Her raw, hairless flesh was covered in sores caused by demodex mange. Her wrinkled, gray skin hung from her body and bunched at her ankles like leg warmers. Her paws were a puffy red that seemed to be the only visible outlet for her anger. To me, she was perfect and lovely.

I returned the woman's keys, bought food and a crate and toys and treats and took her home. For five weeks, I nursed her. I gave her tea tree oil baths every other day and then dabbed her skin with Safflower oil. She received daily doses of Ivermectin for the mange. I slowly increased her food intake, so as not to shock her ravished system with the nutrition that would save her. She moved like a tortoise; each slow and painful step using up precious energy. I spent most of my time sitting with her on her dog bed. She would crawl slowly onto my lap. Even though she couldn't comfortably fit her whole body on me, this is where she wanted to be. We were one in the same; aching, soulless creatures, clinging to life for what it was worth. I didn't see her greasy, scabby, infected skin and she didn't see my past mistakes. We slowly healed each other and came out with two shiny new souls, sparkling with love, though still scarred.

Watching Maddie heal, was like watching her age in reverse. She went from being a feeble old lady to being a goofy, playful and athletic dog. Her coat grew back a beautiful brindle...it's a miracle that it grew back at all. I was sure that she would be permanently scarred.

So, with time, we came to a point where things must move on. I made the decision to go to dog grooming school. And, because the condition of being able to foster in my mother's house was that I not adopt the dog - no matter how in love; I watched as Maddie's new family drove away, with her looking back at me through the open window of their mini van. I did not cry. I just accepted what was inevitable. Things move on.

Maddie had different feelings, however. She, who had been a well behaved lady in my mother's home, became something entirely different with her new family. She escaped from her kennel when left alone, kept the family up all night (until they finally let her sleep in the little girl's room), pooped daily on the family's heirloom oriental rug in the dining room and ran away only to be picked up later that day by animal control. They were a great family, but Maddie was not going to make things easy on them, so they made the difficult decision to give her back.

At this point, I was a few months into dog grooming school. Once I graduated, I would be able to have a dog. After speaking with the rescue, a wonderful volunteer agreed to foster Maddie until I graduated. Maddie was equally as naughty at her house and finally my mother said, "Oh, alright, you can keep her here." I brought Maddie home and she's never been a problem since. (As I type this, I just heard the crinkle of the treat bag on the top of the kennel. Maddie dropped it as soon as she saw me come through the doorway with that "la la la...How'd that get there?" look).

I truly believe that she was just fighting her way back to me. She wanted no one else and there will be no other for me. When I look at her, I see a deep, soulful creature, who is wise and knowing. She's one of a kind and I cherish every day that I have with her, though I know our days are numbered. One day, Maddie will leave this world and I can't imagine how I will go on without her. It is a cruel fact of nature that dogs live such short lives, but maybe that's why they give us so much while they are here.

*Update* check out: "I'm stunned"

Bee

2009-02-12T16:28:00.000-08:00

Today was another warm February day. I worked most of the day but still had a few hours of daylight left to spend outside in the barn. The Rolle Patol have gotten quite good at coming in when the sun starts going down. I prop open the front door and wait. Within a few minutes I hear their little peep peeps as they come marching through the living room, down the hall to the den where their box is. These little chickens are just too cute. WHY didn't I discover chickens sooner!?

just to show how warm it's been:

Bees are out in full force and for some reason this one kept landing on my violin. I wonder if it smelled the rosin?

Momma Maddie, Precious and The Rolle Patrol

2009-02-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

Today was such a change from the last few weeks. It was so sunny and warm, I opened up all the windows and grabbed up the chicks (salmon faverolles and a silky) and threw them outside. They spent the whole day in the flower beds out front - with momma Maddie to chick sit, of course. I could tell you all about it, but pictures are just so much better! As usual, the rest can be seen here.

The Rolle Patrol

Maddie's Little Pez Dispenser

I'm in love with this beard. I can't wait until the roos are all grown. I just love my Faverolles!

"I saw this on Karate Kid."

I Have Power!

2009-02-04T20:12:00.000-08:00

It's been eight days of shivering. Eight days of always seeing my breath. Eight days of constantly boiling water just so that I have some way of thawing out my hands (and chicks). Eight days of breaking up ice buckets.

The first five days without power was kind of an adventure. Sort of like camping or going back to the turn of the century with a good book. I drank lots of tea and hot chocolate and made a big batch of beans and corn cakes on the griddle (thank god for gas stoves). Me and the dogs got under five comforters and that was plenty warm for me. I don't even have a working fireplace, so it got a little chilly. I had week old chicks upstairs that are totally dependent on the heat lamp, so I ended up filling several tupperware containers with boiling water and kept changing it out throughout the day. They were grateful for that bit of extra warmth and huddled around it like vagrants by a tin can fire. The worst part of it all was not being able to take a decent bath. My face is all broken out from having greasy hair. I did, on a couple of the warmer days, take a whore's bath (I just love that term) with hot water I heated on the stove. I'm actually glad that I didn't have internet for a week. I read LOTS of books and played violin when my hands weren't too numb.

I took some pictures, but my 5 year old camera battery isn't holding a charge like it used to. I had been meaning to order a new one, but didn't get around to it before the ice storm. So, it died on me after about 30 minutes. I'm kind of bummed about that. Ice just makes everything look so much cooler. After it snowed on the already iced landscape, everything had this eerie Tim Burton-esque appearance. Trees looked like they had been plucked out of the ground and replanted upside down with branches touching the ground instead of the sky. Thursday the river flooded the road a bit and in the morning all the steam came off the river and seemed to fill the whole valley. It was so strange to see a foggy mist when everything was so cold and icy.

Friday, when the roads were finally clear enough for me to go to walmart I was driving home and there was a bright pink sunset. All the ice in the trees and on fencelines took on the pink glow of the sun. There were a million tiny suns reflecting off all of the ice. It was stunning. I am still mad that my camera battery died. Not that I would have been able to really capture the beauty of it.

The last couple of days have been, well...miserable. The romance has worn off. The outside temperature dropped to the teens and the inside temperature has been about 20. The dog's water bowls froze, the pots on the stove with water froze in just a few hours. My dishrag froze. I leave the milk on the counter to stay cold and anything that I don't want to freeze, I put in the refridgerator to keep warm. I decided to go to my mom's today to do some laundry and take a shower and just thaw out for a few hours. When I got close to home I saw each house lit up as I past and I kept telling myself, "Don't get your hopes up. You're not going to have power." As I started down the steep hill, though, I saw my big, gaudy, brash, annoying utility light that I hate so much glowing like a little beacon and I think I actually may have squealed with joy.

Well, here's a few notable pictures. The rest can be seen here.

This is my street. It's hardly recognisable.

Riverview Farm in the style of Tim Burton.

Books I read this week (I really am a nerd):

Flappers and philosophers by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb
The Thirteenth Tale by Dianne Setterfield

and I started Jane Eyre. I haven't read it since highschool. As much as I love Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre is much more captivating compared to a lot of the books written in that era. None of the boring name dropping, and confusing old english language. Charlotte Bronte is pretty short and to the point. I like it. Very easy to follow.

Bone-crunching Zombie Action

2009-01-25T06:22:00.000-08:00

Must get this book. My two favorite things: Austen and Zombies!

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans."

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

Sold some Hens

2009-01-24T15:29:00.001-08:00

I just sold my first two pullets today!!! They went to a nice couple from Louisville who wanted pet chickens. I let them take my favorite girl. I really wanted her to go to a home where she'd be a pet. Listen to me...How am I ever going to kill the roosters? My farrier said he could show me how to do it. They used to have broilers.

50 more chicks arrived this week from Ideal, so I'm back to having a closet full of chicks. It was nice not having to clean brooders and wash a million waterers and bring in bucketloads of feed from the barn...but these are sexed pullets, so hopefully that will mean more money and less roosters to kill. Poor guys.

Atonement

2009-01-19T15:14:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Atonement (Ian McEwan) and wow, what an amazing book. His writing is vivid and thorough. I can't imagine the kind of mind that is able to carefully plan so many details and tie them together flawlessly so that each one shares a role in the story. You never feel like he is just using gratuitous adjectives to fill space and yet the picture he paints is clear as day. I don't even remember reading words, I just have these rich images of settings and distinct characterizations. The way he gets into each characters mind and really exposes their human nature and psychology. One of the main characters is an adolescent girl and the way he gets into her thought process is astonishing considering he's an older man. As someone who was a 13 year old girl once, I believed that Briony's thoughts were truly that of a young girl and not the invention of some man. As an author, to really make your characters believable and not just write how you would react in that situation is really a feat. I'm so envious. You really have to be able to separate from yourself and let the characters stand on their own. I wish it was so simple.

I also watched the movie and I must say that it is the best adaptation from a book that I've ever seen. The book does not rely heavily on dialogue. You get a very introspective viewpoint of each character, so in bringing that to the screen, they had to have not only great actors able to express emotions without speaking, but stunning locations and brilliant cinematography. There is one scene with probably a five minute steady cam shot; no cuts. There's no dialogue, but it is one of the most stirring scenes in the movie. Overall, the movie captured the feel of the story and even though time didn't allow for them to get as in depth into all the characters, They were able to piece the plot together in a way that still conveyed the strong motivations behind each character. They could have completely butchered this book in order to make it a hollywood blockbuster, but I feel like they respectfully gave the story life without over doing it.

In short, it's my new obsession. I have to see if there's a soundtrack...

Childhood Dream Come True

2009-01-16T16:40:00.000-08:00

No. I didn't end up in The Neverending Story galloping on a white horse along with Atreyu and Artax in Fantasia, but it comes in a close second. My pond froze enough for me to ice skate on!!

I used to daydream as a kid that I had a pond to skate on. I remember I had this book where the dad made a skating rink in the backyard by pouring water on the concrete patio and the little girl in the book got to skate on it. When we lived in New Jersey, where it gets cold enough to skate on ponds, I used to beg my mom to take me out to the big skating pond at night. I would put on my flowy skirt and my mom would shine the headlights on me while I skated all by my self. I was an olympic gold medalist in my mind. I don't remember ever being cold out there and eventually my mom would honk the horn and make me come in. I was never ready, though.

I never really liked going to skating rinks where there were lots of people. It suited me just fine to be all alone where I didn't have to be embarassed. I did eventually, in my teen years, take up skating lessons and spent hours and hours at the skating rink. It was never the same as those nights on the pond with the spotlight on me, though.

So, with these frigid temperatures, I realized that the pond might freeze and had my dad dig out my ice skates and bring them with him when he came to visit today. After we spent half the day trying to thaw out the kitchen pipes (they didn't burst, thank god), I bid my dad goodbye, put the dogs in their kennels, and broke out the old skates. I became an ice princess for a couple hours, just like when I was a kid. I was giddy with joy, I'm embarassed to say...and I took lots of pictures!

The pond in the back corner of the farm and is the future home of the Sebastopol Goslings I'm getting in the spring! Treely was really curious about how mom was gliding around in the trees. She watched the whole time I was out there. Maybe she was just waiting for me to finish being an ice princess so I could bring her dinner.

I still had a few spins in me. I guess skating is like riding a bike. It's been close to 10 years since the last time I skated!

I never quite broke in these skates and my feet were killing me (still are).

These spinning pictures turned out really cool. I started to feel sick after a while, though. Why doesn't that happen when we're kids?

I had so much fun, I'm going to try to go out again in the morning. Temperatures are supposed to get up to 38 in the afternoon, so I don't think my pond skating is going to last much longer. That's okay, though, because I don't know if my blisters will hold up anyways.

It's cold

2009-01-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

The electrician finished electrifying the barn just in time. According to the forecast (which I never quote as fact) it's supposed to get down to -4 tonight. The chickens all have their heated waterers plugged in. The goat has a heating pad, but I wish I had a blanky for her. Treely (the horse) has her blanket on and everybody's got lots of hay/feed to munch to keep their body heat up. I know animals up north have it way worse, but I feel like I'm not doing enough.

I wish I had more heat lamps for the adolescent chicks. I accidentally burned through the wire on my good one while I was cleaning the brooders. I didn't realize it was on and left the bulb sitting on the wire. I left to go clean the waterers and came back to smoldering rubber. Oops! Could have burned the shed down. So, now I'm afraid to use it, though it does still work. haha...somehow it doesn't seem worth the risk of burning down the barn and HAY (OMG NOO!!) not to mention the animals and all that fancy electric work. Any horse person would understand my worry of losing my hay mid winter. It's not like I can just go out and buy more...well, not unless I don't mind paying $10/bale to have it shipped in from California...For the record, I would mind that.

Here's a picture of Treely in her blanket from last year. Do you know how hard it is to find a size 84 ?! I did take a picture of her today in her blanket, but it looks kind of silly because it's so sunny. It looks like it is about 95 degrees outside instead of 15.

Edited for anonymity

2009-01-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

What is good writing? Grammar? Sentence structure? Metaphors and analogies? When does writing go from monotonous language scripted on a page to thought provoking ideas that trip the imagination into spurts of joyful freedom? A mind that's been conditioned to count minutes and days, is allowed to forget that time exists. A person used to believing in absolute truths is given the chance to consider the unconventional ways of fiction.

In our lives, we are taught to grow out of our childish ways and improper thoughts. We are taught to censor ourselves and act scrupulously. We learn by example that it is best to leave some things unsaid. But I wish that I could have a child's mind again. I wish that I could innocently speak without stopping to regard how someone will react to my words.

My words. By the time they leave my mouth they are no longer mine. They have to pass through a series of tests and filters which thin down the emotion and sincerity, putting the inclinations of others ahead of my own desire to express my convictions. I find myself, in the midst of a sentence, losing the will to finish. Once the words pass through the sifter, take a beating, and begin to pour out of my mouth, they don't even sound like they're my words at all. I forget how I think. I forget who I am. I don't even know where my true voice lies.

To have a child's mind. To not know that you shouldn't call your grandmother fat. To not know that you shouldn't cry and throw fits in public. To eat your boogers at the table without a single moment of self consciousness. To be incapable of distinguishing between someone happy or mentally handicapped. Someone rich or poor. Someone gay or straight. And if you are able to make such distinctions, to not care either way. The child's mind before it is given restrictions and conditions and boundaries and manners and elocution of speech.

To have a child's mind, but with the experience of a person who has known embarrassment and rejection; disappointment and desertion, struggle and triumph, love and heartbreak. To be able to instill a childlike honesty in expressing emotions we all experience, but seldom admit to. To be able to write unabashed, crude and dysfunctional thoughts without toning them down for the sake of your reputation. To remove all inhibitions from your mind and simply write raw, unfiltered, unprocessed, irreparably flawed and recklessly unguarded words. Ones that provoke the reader to begin their own thought pattern until the words on the page lose their meaning and the reader becomes the writer.

This is not to say that I want to make tactless remarks that are hurtful. But we should all realize that hate can be spoken in more ways than one and whether the phrasing is outright or benign, it still incites pain. What I want is to be honest about my fears and insecurities. I want to relate to people who are as fragile and flawed as I am. I want to connect to others on more than a superficial plane. I have sheltered myself for so long from having meaningful relationships with people, because I know that they are the judges, who can heal or hurt, console or condemn, and can take mercilessly without conscience. My defense has been to become closed off and without depth. Somehow this style has infected my writing and become who I am.

I think most would agree, that the prospect of ridicule and rejection is enough to make us all either conformists or loners.

Chicks!

2009-01-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

After three weeks of checking the humidity and temperature and turning the eggs three times a day, they finally began to hatch.

This is a spoiled silkie chick.

in her sleeping bag.

The one up front is a rooster in the making.

Dove babies

2009-01-11T12:42:00.000-08:00

My momma dove kept laying eggs, so I decided to let her and hubby set and hatch babies. Mom and dad both sit, taking shifts to give each other a chance to eat and drink. After 14 days of giving them they're privacy, I peaked in one morning and saw an empty eggshell in the cage. Dad was sitting on the babies, but he fluffed up when he saw me and out popped a little pink chick about the size of my pinky. They are the ugliest things when they're babies. Once they start to feather out, they look less alien.

This is the dad tending to his babies. Doves are great parents. Very attentive and caring. They also mate for life.

2009-01-11T12:25:00.000-08:00

I love love love my chickens. I thought I'd get a few laying hens so I could have fresh eggs. I had no idea that I would become psychotically obsessed with them. All I can think about, now, is chickens. Breeding chickens. Buying eggs. Building coops and runs and planning what breeds I want. I had to go out and buy an incubator (okay, I bought two) and now I have over 50 chicks that I had to build a new coop for in the barn. There's another 50 on their way, too. I posted an ad on craigslist and within a few hours I had more responses than I had pullets. I already have claims on the chicks that haven't even arrived yet. (I ordered sexed pullets from a hatchery this time.) I guess I will be processing the roosters for dog food. (I am just not ready to eat my chickens, yet.) I love them too much. This could be the start of my eventual demise.

One of my handsome roosters. He's very sweet, not at all aggressive.

The barred rock bunch.

This is Shabutie, the stray chicken that started it all. One of the dogs brought her to me as a gift. Wasn't that sweet? Shaboots didn't think so.

2009-01-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

I worked all spring to grow little sprouts into plants I could put in the garden. I even talked to them and called them my "babies". Yes, I am that crazy...but look at what they did.

The gate that my dad and I built and the morning glories on my DIY trellis.

The four o'clocks smelled sooo good. As soon as I walked out the back door I was hit by their perfume. I love the paint splash colors, too.

The garden didn't do well this year. I think it's going to take a few years to get the soil in good condition. The ground was solid clay when I dug it up and even after tilling with compost there were huge chunks of clay.

The brick was painstakingly laid and by the end of summer the ground got so dry that the whole thing caved in the middle, so I'm going to have to re-do it this year and I might have to use cement. Those bricks came off a pile of crap that's on the back of the property. They're the old fashioned kind that are each unique and worn smooth over time. Some had moss growing on them, too, which I love.

The herbs. I miss having fresh herbs. I can't wait for next summer. Just looking at this picture I start craving garlic chives and mashed potatoes.

These are the Peonies in the front of the house. Supposedly the ants are necessary for the flower to bloom.

I love that in the summer I wake up early enough for there to still be dew on the flowers. I miss summer and my garden.

Periodical Invasion

2009-01-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

Ahh...Memorial day. Sunshine. Daisies. Hummingbirds. And Alien bug invasions.

First they emerge from their shell.

Then they hang themselves out to dry.

They leave their crunchy shells behind and head off to have weeks of earsplitting sex.

These things were everywhere. I couldn't walk outside without having a few fly into me.

Jumping spider having a yummy feast. The dogs feasted, too. Crunchy on the outside, gooey on the inside. What's not to love?

luckily there's more than one brood of periodical cicadas. So even if you missed this year's bunch, there will be another outbreak in five years or so. Yay.

2009-01-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

In the spring after the snow melts and the rains come, an interesting thing happens...My mailbox ends up in the middle of the river. This wasn't such a bad thing since I was sitting high and dry in my cozy little house. It does bring new meaning to the saying, "Lord willin' and the crick don't rise." I've never actually been able to use that saying until I moved here.

Treely wishes her paddock was in the river all the time.

The water stayed up for a few hours and then began to recede. Within 20 minutes, it sucked back down to where it belonged.

First post

2009-01-10T16:10:00.000-08:00

I might as well get this first post over with. Since moving to my farm last March, I've had lots of adventures and lots of photos to share, but no way to really share them. Since it's winter and there's not much to do but sit inside and try to avoid the mud, I thought I would try to recap the last 9 months.

I moved in on March 5, 2008. The plan was to get some painting done in preparation for moving day when we'd load up the truck and move my stuff to the farm. The night before the big move it began to flurry. I went to bed on the aero bed in my new house and woke up to this beautiful mess.

This is the river across the road

It was a memorable first morning on the farm.